Growing up gay in Utah was not a walk in the park. From the endless church meetings to the conservative values of the state, it felt like the odds were stacked against me from the start. But the real challenge was in gaining acceptance from my family, especially those with deeply ingrained beliefs about what is and isn’t right. I had to travel a long and winding road to get to where I am today, and it wasn’t easy. But I’m here to share my story, so that others can know that they’re not alone.
The first time I realized I was gay, I was in denial. I was afraid of being different, of being rejected by those around me. I didn’t know any other gay people, and I certainly didn’t know anyone in Utah who was gay. It felt like an impossible situation. But then, I met a group of people who were just like me. They were kind, accepting, and they welcomed me with open arms. I realized that there were people in the world who understood me, even if my family didn’t. It became my safe haven, my space where I could be myself.
But when I tried to tell my family, it was a different story altogether. They didn’t understand, they didn’t want to talk about it, and they certainly didn’t accept it. They told me it was a phase, that I would outgrow it. They even suggested I go to therapy to get over it. It was one thing to be rejected by the world, but to be rejected by the people who were supposed to love and support me was a whole different experience. It was isolating and painful, and I didn’t know how to move forward.
Over time, I started to understand that they were just scared. Scared of what they didn’t understand, scared of what other people would think of them. It wasn’t about me, it was about their own fears. And once I understood that, I was able to become more comfortable in my own skin. I didn’t need their acceptance, but it would have been nice. However, I learned that I had to love and accept myself, and that’s a lesson that has stayed with me to this day.
As Utah becomes more and more diverse, more and more people like me are able to find their space in the world. There are more resources, more organizations, and more people who support and understand us. Utah isn’t the same place it was ten years ago, and for that, I’m grateful. But we still have a lot of work to do. There are still people who feel isolated and alone, who don’t have the support system they need. It’s important for us to reach out and help those people, to let them know that they’re not alone. It’s important to accept everyone, no matter who they are or what they believe.
Growing up gay in Utah was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. But it was also one of the most rewarding. It taught me to love and accept myself, to be open and honest about who I am. And it taught me that family isn’t just about blood – it’s about the people who love and accept you unconditionally. I hope that my story can help others who are struggling, and that it can bring a little hope and light into their lives. Together, we can create a world where everyone can be accepted for who they are.